Singing Home The Whale - a Children's book by Nicky and Mandy Hager

Nicky - There once was a Whale, an angry whale who had a powerful and corrupt best friend called Judith who was a complete bitch and John who was a terrible banker and I like really hated all of them so went out to destroy them with my own harpoon.  In the public interest of course.

Angry Whale

Mandy – There once was a young boy called Willie Jackson, a city boy struggling to come to terms with being bullied online by a boy called Giovanni who wanted him removed from his paper round.  Willie retreated back to his whanau for support.  There he discovers an abandoned Whale called Cameron.  He rallies to help and protect it against hostile, threatening interests who want the Whale dead. This threatens to tear apart the small online community and forever changes Willie’s life.   

Happy Nice Whale

Nicky – The Whale needed to be taken down because he was a symbol of corruption, pollution and stench of this capitalist pig government.  I gathered all the forces at my disposal, including machine guns and fellow journalists. We formed a gang and even got our own sociologist on board who took The Whale’s Canon.  The Whale looked very dark.

Dark Whale

Mandy – The Whale needed the love and affection of a warm bed and a cup of Milo from fellow Green activists.  Willie knew what it felt like to suffer from online nasty people from his time in the spotlight.  His good friend JT had to leave town too after the onslaught.   Several people who had previously wanted the Whale to die nurtured and cared for the Whale, even wrapping their arms around him at one point after taking him out for some fresh unpolluted air.

Whale close to his new friend

Nicky – I decided to ruin The Whale with a relentless anonymous social media campaign on Twitter and a book.  It is in the public’s interest to rid the country of The Whale once and for all.  I conspired with all manner of person’s across the country and didn’t really mind if what they did was illegal as remember I am always correct, Judge, Jury and executioner and this is in the public’s interest.  Even if the public did end up voting for John and Judith anyway.

Whale had a book written especially for him

Mandy – In sending Aroha to the Whale there were dire consequences for Willie.  The locals were not happy, sending him death threats.  He had to hide away and gather his thoughts.  He was again the centre of unwanted attention and an online hate campaign, just what he was trying to avoid.  In the meantime the Whale got stronger with Willie’s friendship and decided to fight back.

Whalefighter

Nicky – I took on the Whale and the Police showed up and raided my house!  I tell you it is a fascist state and Judith and John are to blame.  It is just not fair, someone call me a lawyer, no a human rights lawyer, no the UN. Matthew Hooton must have given the Police my address that terrible man, how else would they have possibly known where I lived.  Is there no such thing as privacy anymore!!!

I am so cool kids at writing books by now I can do this shit with my eyes closed

Mandy – I was in the house when it was raided.  I have changed my ending.  The Whale fucking dies!!!!

Dead Whale

THE END



Editors Note - Mandy Hager wrote a children’s book on a Whale and got an award and a review that said it had “echoes of classic book and film The Whalerider”.  Nicky Hager wrote a children’s book containing booming echoes of Whale emails and got a year of publicity and a speaking tour.